UPDATED:August 28, 2008

I decided to put a list, since the animes I have planned to watch ended up...not happening.

YOSH!

List of Anime I should watch:

-Code Geass

-Good Witch of the West

-Rozen Maiden Second Season

-You are Under Arrest (watch again)

- Bleach

- D.Gray Man

-Rozen Maiden OAV

-Hunter x Hunter (Watch again)

-Rizelmine

-Strawberry Panic

-Vampire Knight

-Loveless 

- Tsukihime Lunar Legend

Anime that I already watched (during the break):

- Ouran High School Host Club

-Kamisama Kazoku

-Ghost Hunt

- Lucky Star

- Myself; Yourself

- Serial Experiments Lain (again)

- NieA under Seven (again)

- Sailor Moon (again)

- Gatekeepers 21 

- Hoshi no Koe

Current Anime: Tsukihime episode 9, Evangelion Episode 9

Current Manga: Vampire Knight volume 16, Melty Blood

Just came back after being busy and using other blogs.

Wow.

Tabulas is awesome looking now.

Well, after some time, I return.

I feel empty, but that's not so bad I guess. I deserved this. 

At least now, freedom is given.

I shall be here, pondering on my mistakes and wonder what I've done, even though I very well know what it was.

Sad world I live in.

Oh well. It's not so bad being dark and twisty 

When you get drunk, do you ever find out later you did something, and you cannot remember why you did that, when you did that, etc?

I had this feeling, but I was not drunk.

2 years ago, for reasons I cannot remember, I created an account on this website called bebo and I can't remember when I created it or why. I thought I created it due to the fact that someone invited me to join, but I realized the account am using now is one year older than the one who invited me.

What was going on in my life that year? How strange I do not recall. None of my emails can trace back to that time I created such an account. I figured out the username and password on my own. I could have been using my hotmail for the account, and it would make sense i can't retrieve it due to the fact that it froze....but that can't make sense since I am receiving emails from the site from my main account.

I may have a past that was erased completely from memory. I might have done something 2 years ago that caused me to delete part of my life and this is the only evidence left that I may have overlooked. What could I have done?

Or what if someone had to erase my memory for I saw something, heard something, felt something that was not supposed to happen? What if I know something that can save the world from impending doom, but some evil mad scientist decided to stop me by manipulating my memories?

....well, I can't really trace anything that far unless I read my old journals. Anyway, felt like posting it for remembrance 

I went back to my MSN account again.

It hurt to remember those accounts in my list...don't even remember who I was. 

It had been too long. One of my many mistakes that I cannot used Ctrl+Z to make all better again. One of the many many mistakes that I let happen due to my stupidity....my fear....my wish to move on.

I look back to friendster and see all those familiar faces...those that have crossed paths with me once in my life and have left me. Those who may have left me because I allowed them to, or because it was just all for the best. I notice how they all changed from how I once knew them. I look at myself and wonder if I had ever changed...if I really had let go of all I had planned? If I even did the right thing.

Then again...how could I really know? I don't have much memories. I allowed myself not to keep solid memories. Another of my silly mistakes to add to my list.

It finally hit me ten-fold...when I had a chance to see a person I have not met so long, a person I now realize could have been one of those people I could never forget and I could not. Reason? I trapped myself in my own world I forgot to look back at what I have left.

 It hit me then. I needed to go back. Not stay there, but go back, and fix some things that I had left, while I had the chance.

It took Amir twenty-six years to go back to his past and set things right. I will not wait for so long to fix something that may never be done.

 I still have made my choice and I can't leave it, but I will at least try to preserve what I have left...or at least make sure they knew...that they were important.

This is why I have returned to this journal. To let this out, and to see what I can fix.